The Nature of Epiphanies
Have you ever had an epiphany? You know, that spark of realization when something that was unknown or confusing suddenly becomes illuminated with understanding? One of my most memorable such experiences came about a year after my mother died from cancer. In response to an intense lack of purpose and direction in life, I had been attending seminars to learn how to better understand and help myself.
I was outside the seminar room taking care of a new participant who had had a mostly-sleepless night and was slightly delirious. I was sharing with him about my mom, how she had been lucky to be on her feet and in decent spirits until just a few days before she passed, and how the memorial was so special because I got to see so many of my friends and family, all brimming with love and care. I said, “In a way, it was one of the best days of my life.” He added, “Yeah, because there’s nothing wrong!” quoting one of the expressions used in the seminar.
When he said this, powerful chemicals surged through my brain, and my heart felt like it burst open. I was stunned for a moment, and then began sobbing uncontrollably. I felt profoundly changed, like an invisible weight had suddenly lifted. What had just happened? After the disorientation passed, the epiphany became clear: I had unconsciously believed that my mother’s death had permanently damaged me, but it wasn’t true. I had resigned myself to being a broken person who would never be happy again, but it had all been a mistake. Life was still worth living.
That was 17 years ago. I spent most of those years trying to recreate that experience. From seminar to workshop to coach to therapist to drug ceremony to healing ritual, I searched for the magic combination of circumstance, mindset, or process that would result in this kind of powerful transformation. Along the way, I learned about psychology, brain science, trauma, and healing. Slowly the picture filled in.
What I learned is that our consciousness is always trying to heal and optimize itself, and we just need to get out of its way. However, it turns out that this is MUCH easier said than done. When you cut your finger while preparing food, your body immediately goes to work repairing the damaged skin. If you don’t mess with it, your finger will be completely healed in a week or so. But if you constantly pick at the scab and reopen the wound, your finger will take much longer to heal, and it might even get infected.
Emotional wounds are the same way, except the scab-picking is constant and orders of magnitude higher. Because they feel so intense and scary, most emotional wounds are buried under layers of compensatory structures and patterns that reduce their intensity and keep us vigilant, distracted, avoidant, or numb. Turning away from the pain in this way causes it to persist, like an injured child refusing to let an adult put on a bandaid. It is only when we can feel safe enough to face the pain without flinching that the natural healing process can happen.
When I told that participant about my mother’s memorial and he said “there’s nothing wrong,” the combination of his attentive, human presence, my own vulnerability and openness, and the unexpected truth of his words allowed me to face the pain of believing I was damaged. When that happened, the natural healing process that was patiently waiting leaped into action.
The epiphany happened because I eliminated that trauma-based belief, which had been blocking my ability to perceive the truth: I was whole and complete, despite losing my mother. This is not a truth that one needs a PhD in order to understand. It is a universal, human truth. However, it can only be perceived when there is nothing blocking your ability to perceive it. Someone could have easily told me I wasn’t damaged, and it would have made no difference, because I believed otherwise.
I now have a much more reliable way to facilitate these kinds of insights. Using Peak States Therapy, I can help you locate and resolve the beliefs, wounds, and conditioning that block your ability to see these kinds of truths. As a bonus, it’s much gentler than what I went through 17 years ago. It’s almost like a guided meditation.
A recent client was struggling with feelings of anxiety and vigilance. When she healed the source of it, she said, “That was interesting. I was feeling my anxiety so strongly, but then I realized there’s no point in worrying. I can’t control everything, but I’m smart enough to deal with things as they come up. And then I just let it go. Wow.” She had been carrying the belief that she would be overwhelmed if she didn’t stay in control. Once that belief dissolved, she was able to relax and be present.
Another client had been stuck, unable to decide whether to start a passion project that would require a lot of time and effort. He had weighed the pros and cons endlessly, but the real barrier was an unconscious belief that he would fail. After finding and resolving it, his indecision vanished, and he felt the clarity and courage to take the leap forward.
If you find yourself searching for answers in life, work, relationships, or your own healing, and feel like you’re coming up short, consider that unconscious beliefs, wounds, or conditioning might be blocking your ability to see the truth. What epiphanies might be waiting for you, just beyond those invisible barriers?
